Moon Landing Copypasta

One believes things because one has been conditioned to believe them.

 

There are three classes of people those who see. Those who see when they are shown. Those who do not see.

 

So, you still believe in the moon landings, huh? That’s rich. Boomer, it’s 2024. Time to take off the rose-tinted glasses, step away from “Leave It to Beaver,” and stop watching “Star Trek” reruns. I get it—Neil Armstrong, a waving flag, beating the Soviets. It was all shiny back in the day. But let’s be real—you got played.

 

Let’s start with the obvious. That lunar module—seriously? You’ve seen the pictures. It looks like something a kid threw together with tinfoil and duct tape. And you’re telling me that thing traveled 240,000 miles, landed on the moon, and brought everyone back safe and sound? Sure. NASA couldn’t even keep their space shuttles from blowing up over faulty O-rings, but somehow, with tech less advanced than a flip phone, they managed a flawless round trip to the moon. Right.

 

Now, about those oxygen tanks. The tiny little cans they strapped to the astronauts’ backs? They’re smaller than what a scuba diver uses for a quick swim. Yet we’re supposed to believe they lasted for hours on the moon, in a vacuum, with radiation and temperatures swinging between -250°F and 250°F? Sure, they just pranced around with their dinky tanks like they were out for a stroll. Totally believable, huh?

 

And then there’s the lunar rover. That glorified golf cart with batteries they say drove all over the moon’s rocky terrain. Meanwhile, your car struggles to start in winter, but these guys were joyriding on the moon like it was a theme park. Yeah, sure.

 

And the space suits. NASA claims they were designed to handle extreme temperatures, radiation, and micrometeorites. But they looked like oversized snow suits with some plastic and zippers slapped on. They’re walking around in a vacuum, and—surprise—not a tear, not a malfunction. They must’ve been wearing magic pajamas.

 

Here’s the real kicker: what if something went wrong? You think the government would risk letting the whole world watch astronauts die on live TV? Not a chance. The whole thing was scripted tighter than a Hollywood blockbuster. Just like the Chili Peppers said: “filmed in a Hollywood basement.” And guess what? Nixon dialed the moon using an old rotary phone. Yep, old Tricky Dick just spun that dial and asked to speak to the moon. Seriously? Did he ask for an operator too? “Hello, can I speak to the Sea of Tranquility, please?” Come on, people.

 

Let’s talk about NASA’s big achievement. After all those “successful” moon landings, they just… stopped. No more missions, no bases, no moon cities—nothing. Six landings, and then they packed it up, like a band with one hit song. You really think they’d quit after the biggest achievement in history? Or maybe they knew if they kept going, the cracks in their story would start showing.

 

Oh, and the tapes. The original footage of mankind’s greatest moment? Gone. NASA just lost it, like someone losing their car keys. That’s the excuse they gave—the most important footage in human history, and it just vanished. You buying that?

 

Now let’s talk about the broadcast. They beamed live video from the moon with 1960s technology? Your Wi-Fi struggles with a Zoom call, but they sent crystal-clear footage 240,000 miles through space? Sure, that sounds totally believable.

 

And don’t get me started on the camera. Many claim it was mounted on the leg of the lunar module, but then who focused it? Who changed the angles? Small details like that slip through the cracks, but us seasoned millennials know how to dissect and analyze. It’s the kind of thing that falls apart when you start asking the right questions.

 

Now, let’s break down the official excuses they love to spoon-feed you.

 

The flag? They say it wasn’t blowing in the wind, just held up by a rod. But explain how it ripples like there’s a breeze. What, is there some magical moon wind we don’t know about?

 

No cameraman? Sure, they say Armstrong’s first steps were filmed by a camera attached to the lunar module, but the angles are too good. You expect me to believe a shaky camera strapped to the side of a spacecraft got those perfect shots? Not buying it.

 

Footprints in the dust? They say it’s “vacuum cementing,” but even on Earth, dust doesn’t hold perfect shapes like that without moisture. You ever see dry dust make footprints that crisp? Me neither.

 

No stars in the pictures? They claim the camera exposure washed them out. But not a single star in thousands of photos? What, did the stars take a day off?

 

No crater under the lunar module? NASA says the engine’s thrust was low, so no crater formed. But you’re telling me no dust was disturbed either? No marks, no blast pattern? Yeah, right.

 

Boot prints don’t match the boots? Oh, they say the astronauts wore overshoes on the moon. Funny how they never mentioned that detail until people noticed the inconsistency.

 

Van Allen radiation belts? They zipped through them with minimal exposure? Modern space missions still worry about radiation, but Apollo just breezed through like it was no big deal? Something doesn’t add up.

 

Nixon’s phone call? Yep, you heard it right. He called the moon using a rotary phone. That’s the level of tech we’re talking about here. And somehow, they patched that call through without a hitch. Sounds legit, doesn’t it?

 

The cameras? They claim the cameras were specially modified for the moon’s harsh environment. But modern astronauts still have issues with equipment, yet the Apollo cameras worked flawlessly? No glitches, no failures—just perfect pictures.

 

And what about the people involved? Sure, 400,000 people worked on Apollo, but most of them were just cogs in the machine. A few key players could have pulled off the whole thing while the rest were kept in the dark.

 

So wake up, Boomer. The moon landing was the biggest lie they ever sold. And deep down, you know it doesn’t add up. Don’t get mad at me for pointing it out. Get mad at the people who sold you this fantasy. Step out of your “Star Trek” bubble and face the facts—you’ve been had.